You Can Do Anything – What You Were Born to Do
June 18, 2009 by Will Marre
You Can Do Anything by Will Marre
For 30 years I have helped people get clear on their life’s purpose and finding what they were born to do. I have discovered that it is found at the intersection of people’s Design and Desire. What are you talented at and what are you passionate about. (Save the World and Still Be Home for Dinner, Sept. 2009) Recently I’ve come across a stream of literature that states that talent alone is overrated. It seems that consistent, focused practice develops our latent talents to excel at unexpected things in unexpected ways. This brings me to Joe Cocker.
For some reason, I’ve always wanted to see Joe Cocker sing live. I have this mental list of singers and groups I want to hear in person before I have to be pushed into a concert in a wheel chair. During my college days I saw the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Elton John, the Beach Boys, Creedence and many more. I was even a paid security guard at a Canned Heat concert in 1968 at the Santa Monica Civic. In my boomer years I’ve managed to see the Eagles, Paul McCartney, Sting and lots of others. But ever since I heard Joe Cocker’s rendition of “With a Little Help From My Friends” from the 1969 Woodstock Concert, I’ve wanted to hear this weirdly unique rocker for myself.
I was delighted to discover he was coming to Humphries in San Diego in June. My wife wasn’t. Not at all. Not even a little bit. “Joe Cocker—you’ve got to be joking!” Debbie, who once sang in a band herself said. “I really like music. I love singing, but that excludes Joe Cocker.” Finally after days of pouting and begging she gave in. “But I’m doing this just for you,” she kept reminding me. We bought tickets at the last minute. Luckily they were unsold premiere seats released at the last minute at distressed prices. Ninth row, center. “Awesome,” I thought. “Of all the luck,” Debbie said in disgust.
So on a warm June night there we sat, and Joe Cocker’s band came out. The first thing I noticed was how big a group they were. Full drum set, another set of Congas, saxophone, a baby grand piano, a Hammond organ, a tiny woman bass player with huge hair, two back up singers and a lead guitarist who was a dead ringer for David Spade. Then the music started. It filled the whole star-filled sky to overflowing. A full, deep wall of sound. It was rich like a huge chocolate cake of music. Deb’s eyes opened wide, and she whispered, “Oh.”
Then Joe came out. He’s a sixty-five year-old Englishman draped in soft, saggy pink British flesh topped with lots of thin wispy grey hair, dressed in black with a well-earned boomer belly protruding over his black and silver belt. And then there is the voice. It’s indescribable. The best I can say is that it is so painfully screechy his vocal cords must be made of titanium. So there he stood in all his aging glory blaring out the Beatle classic, “Come Together.”
What’s always amazed me about Joe is that he doesn’t really sing. He emotes a song. He does a cross of melodious talking punctuated by frequent voice box shredding screams. And it works. Really works. From the first song the crowd of about 1500 of us were up and dancing, clapping, swaying…all the embarrassing stuff ancient concertgoers do. Debbie soon realized that over the past 40 years she’s heard almost all of Joe’s songs. That’s because they are nearly all covers, someone else’s hit song. He doesn’t imitate the original singer. Instead he is outrageously original. The way he alternately screams and whispers, “You are so beautiful” can’t help but fill you with surprising emotion. So Joe rocked all of us for 100 minutes. He sang every song that he’d sung 10,000 times as if it was his last concert. Debbie even became a fan even if just for one evening. His magic was irresistible.
So what’s Joe Cocker got to do with anything? Well, to me, everything. He is a bigger than life example that we can do anything. Joe has been a rock star for 40 years. He used to fill 20,000 seat arenas. He won a Grammy. He has sold tens of millions of CDs, and he can’t really sing, he doesn’t write his songs, he moves on stage like he’s being jolted with tiny bits of electricity. It’s not pretty. He occasionally freaks out in an awkward spasm of air guitar or air piano. Not good. But, and here’s his magic, his biggest musical influence was Ray Charles, and every song Joe sings is an authentic emotional explosion. He also surrounds himself with talented back-up singers and world-class musicians. Always. In his early touring days he had Stevie Winwood and Leon Russell in his band. And then there is complete and total giving of himself.
You see Joe knows what he’s good at and knows what he isn’t. And even though he’s not good at writing lots of music or playing instruments or even singing, what he is absolutely amazing at is putting all these ingredients together into a one-of-a-kind sonic boom. It’s remarkable; Joe Cocker has made a career out of being Joe Cocker and there is no substitute. Can’t really sing, not very good looking, doesn’t write music or sing original songs, and yet there he is, making other people’s music unmistakably his own.
So what’s the best thing we can do? Consider this. The people we tend to admire are original and unafraid to be so. We need to know what we’re good at and surround ourselves with people who are good at what we’re not. We need to put forth inspired effort. Most of all we need to be deeply and genuinely authentic. Authentic in our best self. Author Matthew Kelly asks us to imagine the best person we can be and then be that person. It’s really who we are.
So what do you think? Is there a Joe Cocker in you? Is being this authentic a risk worth taking?
I volunteer at the local Role Model Program. One of the points that I try to reiterate to the students is to find the intersection of their talent, interest & values. Not everyone would know what their latent capabilities are but that should not prevent them from asking themselves regularly: What am I naturally good at?
One of the exercise involves them to interview people that know them well to find out what they are good at. Makes sense. Just as we may not know our weakness, we may also not know our strength. To summarize and answer your question: We would not soar to our full potential if we don’t live our true selves.
PS> Below is a story that I share with the students to emphasize the importance of finding our talent:
A man found an eagle’s egg and put it in a nest of a hen.
The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life the eagle did what the chicks did, thinking he was a chicken.
He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky.
It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents,
with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.
The old eagle looked up in awe. “WOW! Who’s that?” he asked. “That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” said his neighbor. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth–we’re chickens.”
So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that’s what he thought he was
Well that is all well and good – but I do not know what I am good at. I’ve done a lot of things but do not seem to be exceptionally good at any of them. Passionate – not really – other than providing for my family.
Besides I am too busy simply trying to keep the bills paid and food on the table to worry much about anything else. At this point in time I am probably more interested in a job that I can tolerate that pays exceptionally well than anything else.
cd
I so appreciate your postings. Your topics come at the most appropriate times for me. I have struggled for so long in terms of defining myself and what I am good at. I have had recently re-connected with some high school friends that had given me some feedback that was also perfect timing. Even though they were not my best friends, the theme of their comments were that I was always “real, honest, kind, with an enormous sense of humor”. My point to this is that I can search and search for that one thing I am most talented or gifted at, but if I don’t believe it myself the hunt is futile. I feel I have found my many talents, including the love of people and the belief that we can do some much more not just for us but a “bigger purpose”. Once I embraced this, and after I read your article on the Ganeem project and self reliant businesses the flood gates have opened for me. I realize the special ingrediant is me believing in me, and realizing it is ok if I don’t fit into one mold!
Thanks for sharing this, you inspire me every time.
Robin
Well, you have now answered one of the great mysteries of life….how people who can’t sing become successful singers. You could not have picked a better example than Joe Cocker…for years I thought he must have been able to sing earlier in his life and something happened to his voice. I feel the same about Dylan, and some of the screaming leads in today’s bands. I often ask: “who’s the idiot that first told this person you should be a singer?”
The answer of course as you noted is that he isn’t a singer, but a performer and uniqueness is the key to success in that realm.
As for some of the comments, well I’m not sure they understood your question. The Minimalist, Charles and Robin are all guilty of a logical fallacy. (By the way, I loved the story of the eagle and the chickens!) I’m not sure who first noted this but I firmly believe “We are NOT what we DO.” Talents are not who you ARE! There are complete geniuses who are evil, nasty and self-centered. Many criminals are honest, clean-cut, religious, etc.
These are characteristics. When Robin says “I have struggled for so long in terms of defining myself and what I am good at….. I was always ‘real, honest, kind, with an enormous sense of humor, ‘” this is comparing apples to oranges. Further, “real, honest and kind” are descriptions of behavior, not necessarily WHO you are.
Might I suggest that this notion of an “authentic self” really suggests that we act in accordance with our true values, not our talents? You might be the best liar with a straight face (or bluffer) in town, but is that the authentic self you want to be? You could be the most honest person at work, but is it really authentic to tell your boss he’s an idiot?
Like any job hunter (like me) we need to recognize our strengths and promote them….and our weaknesses as well. Like Clint said: “Man’s got to know his limitations!”
I too am a Jack-of-all-trades (better than average at a lot of things) and master of none (do not “excel” at anything in particular). It is rare to find anyone who excels at more than one thing. In deference to anyone who may have said it before, one of my “original” observations is that “in almost all cases, Excellence requires a singularity of purpose.” From hockey players to pianists, from women’s gymnasts to figure skaters, you will see the sacrifices and singular purpose to that one endeavor. (How many track stars make it in pro football?) I’d bet anyone who ever went to a piano recital or band concert wishes they could play those instruments like the guys / gals on the stage but very few of us want to practice for 10 hours a day for 15 years!
I recommend Malcolm Gladwell’s fantastic study of people who excel in his book: “Outliers.” Who would have guessed that the most successful pro hockey players were born in the early months of the year?
If you want to know who your are, look at what your values are. There’s an old joke about a guy who asks a female friend if she would spend the night for a million dollars. After some thought, she answered the seemingly rhetorical question with a definite “probably.” He responded saying “great. Would you do it for $10?” She was insulted of course and angrily replied: “Of course not, who do you think I am?” His reply: “We already know who and what you are, but we’re just haggling over the price.”
In terms of self actualization (there’s an old term for ya’) and doing what you’re good at, that may not intersect your desires and needs. How many of us are willing to be starving artists?…even though it’s what we do best? So take a more pragmatic and objective approach to answer that. List your SKILLS (not attributes like tall, dark and handsome) and prioritize them according to what means more to you: Doing what you like or Getting the most out of it. Now you really have to be honest with yourself. I hope that IS who you are.
Faith is the key element to whatever we decide to do with our lives. If you think you can you will and if you think you can’t you won’t.
The food that we feed our minds will determine the actions that we take. Just remember, fear and faith can not dwell in the same place. You will operate in one or the other it’s your choice.
Many will not succeed in life because they operate in fear.
Overcoming the battle that rages in our mind is the challenge we all face and it will ultimately determine our destiny.
Take a leap of faith!
Thank you, Will for another inspiring and well written topic.
As a pianist and composer, I can appreciate your story about Joe Cocker and his talent. It reminds me of a quote from Liberace. (also an entertainer and a pianist from the 40′s, 50′s, 60′s era) “I am not the greatest pianist in the world. There certainly are greater virtuosos than I am, but I have been able to do with the piano something that maybe even the virtuosos haven’t been able to do: I’ve been able to reach the people.”
His talent was connecting with his audience and using the piano, his flashy costumes and his mannerisms as a way of doing that – an original by far! He made his audience feel important – and isn’t that how each of us wants to feel?
Keep doing what you do best, Will. You are a master at sharing ideas and dreams.
Thanks a lot for the post Will. It’s exactly what I’ve been pondering all my life. I’m still not there, but I will get there, I am certain of it. All I know is, I will definitely be the best person I can be to everyone I may come across in the meantime. I have a question though Will; Is it always good to find what you were born to do ? or….In these times, would it be better to find a career that is recession/depression/etc proof ? Dreaming and being realistic don’t always come together in the future. Godspeed.
I know what I do good and that video productions, audio, and camerawork, my problem is I can’t sell for beans. If only I had a partner to do the logistics of sales and build up my business, it could be a big success… I have been honored to be the #1 volenteer at cable for 5-6 years in a row… I love the business and love to help others produce great shows… I you know anyone that want to help out in a sales and pr end of the business call me Steve Hall (650)669-3352
“California SF bay area only” Also need to invest in new equipment to upgrade for future work…